A Wisp of Cloud
by onlytomriddle
Summary: A mysterious arrival in Heian Kyo sends a love poem to Emperor Suzaku, but it was intended for someone else. Genji goes to investigate, and meets someone he never expected. Warning: Implied almost!incest and inconclusive ending.


**Author's Note:** This, like AyakoNoChou's "Tasogareru," was written for an assignment comparing two major characters across generations, and I thought, Hey! I wonder if I can a generation before Genji's instead of after! So I asked and I was allowed. The professor's answer was actually kind of amusing. "Sounds rather oedipal—go ahead if you'd like." So here it is. Also like AyakoNoChou's story, this was written in the style of Royall Tyler's translation of the novel, including a few features of it that got to be clichéd after a while. The poetry is all original, and based off Bai Juyi's "Song of Unending Sorrow." I recommend looking that up before reading (the full translation is readily Googleable), but I have provided annotations in a rather annoying format. I apologize in advance for my format, but the notes are necessary to understanding the story, so they're right there in the middle of the story. They were originally footnotes. Okay, that's enough introductions. Enjoy the story! (Genji is about 28, just back from exile.)

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On a particularly chilly and windy evening, a pair of ladies called on the gate of a certain estate at the edge of the capital. These were His Late Eminence's Haven and her mother, but what the latter told the gatekeeper was that they were mere strangers in need of a night's lodging.

The gatekeeper wondered why a well-dressed old woman and her lady were travelling alone, but he kept his thoughts to himself and reported their presence to the owner of the estate. The owner, a wealthy man with rooms to spare, took pity on them—for the old woman, at least, appeared freezing—and ordered the lady's carriage be led in and accommodations readied. The old woman, speaking for her lady, requested a discreet messenger.

Once settled in, the Haven composed a poem while her mother prepared ink at the writing table provided for guests. Then the Haven pulled from her robes some paper and wrote:

"_Too long have I been stranded in my nest in the clouds,_

_my dewy sleeve keeping me from seeking out my other wing._

Have I found you at last?"(1) To this she attached a white feather, and asked that the messenger take it to His Majesty.

Genji and His Majesty(2) were having a long discussion of days past, in high spirits, when the Haven's message arrived. It was written on new white Japanese paper, and carefully rolled up. The messenger stated the location of the sender, but had no information as to her identity.

_( __**1**__. This references "The Song of Unending Sorrow," by Bai Juyi. The "clouds" suggest the Fairy-Mountain Palace, at which Yang Guifei resided after her death, and the "other wing" refers to the Kiritsubo Emperor._

_**2**__. Suzaku.)_

His Majesty unrolled the message and read it. He could think of no person he had met in his life that might have sent him such a thing, and he wondered with dread in his heart what had led to this plea to being directed at him by mistake. He let Genji read it.

It was written in a thoroughly graceful hand, in ink so faint in places that Genji almost wondered if he was reading it right. He had as little an idea as His Majesty as to who might have sent it. However, he grew intensely curious, and he decided to seek her out later that night.

He and His Majesty continued talking, this time lamenting the unfortunate confusion that had led to the poem being sent there. Genji eventually left, though earlier than they both would have liked.

Not wishing to draw attention, he took only Koremitsu with him and rode out to the edge of the city.

The Haven's messenger returned and deeply apologized, explaining that His Majesty had not understood the message, and therefore could not reply. At this the Haven broke down into tears, realizing that she had come too late. She lay face down on the floor, with her white sleeves covering her beautiful face. Her mother, also consumed by disappointment, hardly knew how to console her. Even a master artist could not have captured their grief in a painting.

They could not bring themselves to leave immediately, so later that night, while they were still drowning in sorrow, the messenger announced that they had a visitor who wished to speak to the lady. The Haven, though puzzled, could not help but nurture a small hope, and so accepted the visitor.

"I will go," said her mother, and dismissed the messenger. The visitor was out on the veranda, too far to hear her daughter's voice. She went to him, and even through the darkness she was astonished at his beauty. However, she did not recognize him as the young boy she had taken care of; since she had cut off her mortal ties long ago, her memory of this world had grown dim.

Genji was waiting outside, hoping to be let in from the cold winds should this prospect prove interesting after all, when the old woman came out to take his message. He had written on delicate pink paper decorated with gold specks,

"_What lonely island bird has fallen from her nest of cloud,_

_that she might fly in heaven?"(3)_

The sight of the old woman stirred something deep in his memory, and at first he thought of his late grandmother, but he had no reason to see her again, and in fear of being mistaken said nothing of his impression.

The Haven read his message in disappointment, for this unknown visitor did not know her either. However, there was a chance that he might know what had become of her love, and so she replied aloud,

"_The fog has passed, and now I see that, like me,_

_the wing I lost was just a wisp of cloud._

Your words are truer than you realize."(4)

_(__**3**__. This also refers to the "Song." The "island" again suggests the Fairy-Mountain Palace._

_**4**__. The "fog" refers to the fog covering the capital of China when Yang Guifei tried to look down to find the emperor. "I have come back from the other realm only to find that my love has passed on already.")_

Having now realized the truth(5), Genji was so overcome with emotion that he wept. His grandmother could not help but admire his features, which were only enhanced by his pained expression. Finally, he replied, "His Late Eminence my father, five years ago…" He could not finish his sentence.

She was stunned, and suddenly embraced him. Genji realized that his impression had indeed been correct and returned the embrace. However, he could not bear to burden her with the knowledge of the evil things that he had done since their parting, and so said nothing more.

Contemplating his mother's loss, he thought of the beauty of the twilight from years ago, and the dear lady he had just left in Akashi, trivial though they seemed in comparison.

The Haven's mother returned and relayed what he had managed to say, barely holding back tears herself.

The Haven, too, was stunned that her visit had not been entirely in vain, and she told her mother to bring him to her. The thought of seeing him made it hard to breathe, and she bade her mother hurry.

Genji would have been happy to escape the cold winds, but now he thought only of seeing his mother, and he worked hard to maintain his composure as his grandmother led him inside and up to the last blind, through which her profile was now barely discernable. Even with this faint evidence, it was clear that he was her son.

"With this small consolation to steady my grief, I now have the strength to resume my search," she said. "I do not belong here."

_(__**5**__. That she is Kiritsubo.)_

Her voice was enticingly faint, and it moved Genji beyond what even the finest _kin_ music played in the perfect setting could do. He moved forward to look past the side of the blind, and he heard a soft rustling sound as he did so. When he managed to look at her, all he caught was a glimpse of her exquisite face in shock and the pure white robes she wore. She faded away entirely before he could see her properly. Her mother left as well.

Genji cursed his boldness and could only weep for the next several minutes. He remembered the ghost of his father, and he was glad that he had done what he could to ensure that his father could be free from his sins. He dearly hoped that they would find each other again, but there was nothing more to be done for them, and so he decided to tell no one of his encounter.

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**Author's Note:** Please review! Thank you for reading!


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